Skip to content
March 24, 2010 / georgetteculley

Cling film…For lunch or for weight crisis?

Cling film...invented for food, not skin

I wish I looked this good wrapped up!

I’m a little bit shy when it comes to exercise and super fit freaks scare me. The most exercise I get is when I’m cavorting on tables, ‘a bit’ tipsy. Yes, it’s good exercise, but the calorific alcohol counteracts this. Then there’s my ten minutes walk to and from the bus stop every day, and I hardly think that gets the fat burning. So I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard wrapping yourself in cling film helps burn the rubber! According to fitness fanatics it makes you sweat, which helps budge those stubborn pockets of fat and water retention. Obviously, if you wrap yourself in it then exercise, it’s more effective. But I skipped the exercise part and decided to sleep in it instead. So, I had a cold shower (to speed up my metabolism) and got down to business. I wrapped myself head to toe, sporting a rather unsexy mummy image, then got in to bed. The first hour was bearable, I took pleasure in the sweating, reassuring myself it was working, and that I would wake up with Fern Cotton’s physique in the morning. However, as the hours passed, I tossed and turned itching from the cling film. In the end, contrary to popular belief, beauty was not worth the pain. I tried to rip the plastic off me, but I’d wrapped myself so deeply in it, it was hard to remove. I ended up clawing it off, and in the process, I took half my skin with it. This truly was an horrific and scarring experience. I would rather have Fern Britton’s body (pre weight loss) than Fern Cotton’s if this is the lengths I have to go through. Not one to try at home, or anywhere else for that matter.

March 24, 2010 / georgetteculley

Milk baths for modern maids!

Like our legendary Cleopatra – even students are allowed to be decadent from time to time. So I’ve decided to indulge myself and see what exactly our favourite Egyptian saw in milk baths. Beauty professionals advise adding two to three cups of milk to a bath, but hey, I’m sure Cleopatra didn’t holdback – so I bunged two (organic) pints in.

"Seduction is my middle name"

 Apparently, the lactic acid in milk helps break down dead skin cells leaving you polished to perfection. The smell was a bit off putting for one’s relaxation, so I got one of my slaves (housemates) to pop some honey in. Whilst I was going with the dairy theme I coated my hair in raw egg, as rumour has it, it makes your hair shiny. After twenty minutes of soaking, and feeling like I was starring in a Kellogg’s crunchy nut advert. I examined my skin. It felt extraordinarily soft and glowing. As for the egged up hair, don’t do it. I noticed no change to my dried out locks. I just smelt of, well, rotten eggs. As for Cleopatra’s milk bath it is a Definite must do – unless you are dairy intolerant.

I didn't look quite this good...

March 24, 2010 / georgetteculley

Olive oil…more than edible

This week I’m cooking up another one of my Nan’s beauty recipes…Olive oil. Not only a delicious salad dresser, but also a fabulous, and cheap, moisturizer for skin, hair and nails. They say you have to choose between face or body when you get older, but if my Nan’s anything to go by then you can have both. Now in her 80’s (sorry Nan) her skin is full and glowing, and she has killer legs too! All down to a healthy balanced diet, and her obsession with drenching her face, every night, with olive oil. Olive oil is high is vitamin A and E which are essential for repairing damaged skin – caused by sun exposure, smoking and pollution. Follow these simple steps to make your skin delicious again. Measure a teaspoon of  olive oil and pop it in the palm of your hand. Then, either use a cotton wool pad, or your fingers and gently massage the oil into your face and neck. I would recommend doing this before bed, as the oil will have the whole night to absorb into your skin. If olive oil is too greasy – compromise – try extra virgin olive oil. It’s less oily and should keep the boyfriend from moaning about the bed linen. For those lucky enough to be going on a hot date – grab a bowl, put three table spoons of olive in, mix with sea salt and give that orange peel on your legs and bum a good scrub. Your skin will feel truly edible. You’ve never had a better excuse to dress up!

March 17, 2010 / georgetteculley

Urine ‘therapy’…

Being beautiful on the outside always starts from within, and I’m not talking about all that ‘personality’ bullshit. As an anaemic vegetarian with a chain smoking habit which could give Dot Cotton a run for her money, it’s very important I keep up with my multi vitamins. Smoking depletes all most every vitamin you gain, especially B vitamins which are crucial for maintaining healthy hair, skin and nails. On the limited student diet I survive on, vitamins are scarce. Shopping in Holland and Barrett with all the do-gooders depresses me, so I’ve followed the likes of British actress, Sarah Miles, and looked a little closer to home. Yes, urine therapy – to you and me that means drinking your own pee… apparently the Chinese swear by it! So, I brought some paper cups (considering my flatmates feelings) and sat down for breakfast with my bowl of cornflakes, and my cup of ‘apple juice’. I am not going to lie to you, it took me around 20 attempts, in between the retching, just lifting the cup to my mouth. But I soldered on and got there in the end. My verdict: revolting, but manageable. A bit like drinking gone off green tea. Though a little warm for my liking. So I would probably recommend chilling it before hand. Obviously, putting human waste in a fridge seems pretty unhygienic and unfair on whoever shares your fridge, so perhaps pop a couple of ice cubes in and pretend it’s an long island iced tea cocktail. In order for me to reap the full benefits of my new found beauty regime, I have to drink it over a period of time. And after a week, I did notice a certain glow I was lacking before. However, I’m sure if a man was in my life they would probably not be around for long if they knew about my drinking habits. So I think you will see me, clutching my tub of multi vits, in a queue in Holland and Barrett very soon. But for those of you daring enough to try it, I’d say go for it…just be sure to wash your hands after!

Sarah Miles in earlier years...

March 5, 2010 / georgetteculley

Tea tan…

Being bronzed and beautiful is expensive. The average price of a good bottle of fake tan is approximately £30, and being an ‘impoverished’ student, I would rather spend that on a night out. As I stared at my pasty body I remembered my Nan telling me about her beauty regime in World War 2. When she was really poor she would rub used, wet tea bags on her legs to create the illusion of stockings.  I thought I’d take her tip to the next level.  So I tossed a couple of tea bags into the tub, sat back and relaxed.  Ok, I’m not going to lie, you do feel like you’re bathing in a sewage plant. Not quite the tranquilization a bottle of Radox offers. But pain is beauty right?  I manoeuvred myself in the bath, making sure every inch of my skin was soaked in tea. I read somewhere that tea bags are good for dark circles and bags under the eyes, this particular evening I looked like I was carrying more bags under my eyes than a luggage shop. So after the hot water had drained all the colour from the tea bags, I popped them under my eyes. Fifteen minutes later I removed them, excited to see how my tea tan was developing. It was developing alright…I looked like I was suffering from Jaundice. Far from the bronzed goddess I was hoping to meet. Note to self. Tea is good for drinking, not tanning. Do not try this at home.